Recently I ran into my first Mother/Daughter experience of "Mean Girls".
Uggggg! This may be my top worry. I’ve been here. I think every woman alive can associate with being both a mean girl and having experienced a mean girl. I have certainly been both. I don’t know why it happens, but it seems to be happening earlier and earlier. I thought mean girls started in middle school but I've seen that it actually can happen with six-year-olds. I think it is very immature for "Mommy" disagreements to rub off on the kids. I would never tell my daughter that she couldn't be friends with another little girl just because her Mother and I didn't see eye to eye. And while I tried to "sugar coat" the incident to my precious little angel. I just had to be honest and tell her that this is just how it is sometimes. A best friend suddenly doesn’t like you anymore. You’re ostracized from the school lunch table with no warning.
A group of girls deems you unworthy. I hate that this is coming. I just want to wrap my arms around my sweet girl and tell her she will always be loved, she will always be beautiful no matter what anyone else says. No matter the situation my daughter finds herself in, I want her to be comfortable enough in her own skin to stand up for what she believes in. I want her to feel ok being the odd ball out (that’s a tall order, I know!) I definitely caved to the pressure on a few occasions and know she will too. But I want her to know that most of her friends will be just as uncomfortable as she is..no matter the situation. And sometimes, it just takes one person to say “no thank you” to give the rest of the crowd permission to say the same. I hope I raise that child. If not, that’s ok too. She’ll live and learn, but I hope that I can give her that confidence in herself. I wish what I said was all that mattered, but we are quickly coming upon the days when that won’t be true. I want her to stay sweet, to be friendly to everyone. I’m being unrealistic I know, but one can hope she becomes.......
Loved this post. I remember "mean girls" started for me at a very young age, as well. I will NEVER forget the first day of 2nd grade when older girls on the playground made fun of my Barney t-shirt. I had no idea what making fun of someone really was until that morning, but I also knew at 7 years old I would never say something like to another girl. I remember my mother telling me something along the same lines as your advice. Unfortunately, the "mean girls" of life don't go away after school, or college. I experience it even at work! Obviously, being 27 is a far cry from 7. Alanna is blessed to have a mother like you who wants to protect her, yet understands we all will feel this things at some point and have to rise above. *Virtual pat on the back* You are doing an admirable job, Amber.
ReplyDeleteAh thanks Riley. That means so much. It's hard teaching those lessons we've learned and are still learning how to cope with. But my Alanna is a resilient child and she just lets things roll off her back. I guess you could say I could learn a thing or two from her. I am just so privileged and blessed to be her mama, I want to protect her. But I'm learning she is smarter than I think and I have to be frank with her. She handled the whole situation very gracefully. Makes my heart happy!
ReplyDelete