Dating my husband

I have had several talks with my friends about date nights with their husbands and spending "alone" time together. 

Much to my surprise (or not) there is one theme that seems consistent. It's how busy our lives are. It's no wonder...with jobs, kids, soccer games, girl scouts, volunteering, and other activities that chip away at our time, that it's hard for parents to find time for each other. 

But it is very important! 

Remember when you were dating your husband, before you got married, and you promised each other that kids, life, and work, and being tired would NEVER get in the way of the two of you dating? Remember those conversations? I do. And even though we try really hard to hold true to those promises, life does happen and fitting a date in can be complicated and sometimes so much work, that it doesn't even seem worth it.

My husbands work schedule is inconsistent. We don't know from one day to the next if he'll be home. He can leave for days to weeks at a time. I volunteer quite a bit of my time and stay busy with our kids and thier activities. To some this may not seem like a recipe for success, and there are some nights when I am dealing with bed time and clean up that I wish I had a second pair of hands to help. But what we lack in time, we make up for with love and commitment. 

Marriage is the foundation for all families. Together, you and your husband are partners in writing your family story. Once the honeymoon is over and children become part of our relationship, we need to be much more intentional about making time for our spouses. We are both committed to giving each child our personal attention through various family activities, cuddles, story time, kid dates, and just plain fun.

We are committed to each other and to making the other a priority. This is so important because our children need to see love and respect between their parents. It helps create that model for how their future relationships should be.

Here are some of our tips on dating your spouse: 

• Remember love is an action verb. It is not something that just happens. It is something you actively do. Once you stop doing it, it can go away. Love unconditionally! 
• Have "privacy". When you have jokes, traditions, places, songs, and experiences that are just YOURS together, it makes every day more fun. 
• Don't get hung up on spontaneity. Before we had kids, dating was spontaneous and wild. I think every couple goes through a bit of a mourning process when you realize that you have to schedule and plan in advance for time alone. Don't fight it, embrace it. Don't be afraid to schedule time for a date or even something a bit more sexy.
• Don't let go of spontaneity. Even though we heavily rely on our calenders, it's always nice when we get to sneak off in a corner or closet for a quick make out, or the kitchen for a dance. It kind of reminds me of when we were kids hiding from our parents. Only now we are parents hiding from our kids. We always get caught, but it's fun while it lasts ;)
• Look hot! Fix yourself up. Put on a cute outfit, perfume, and style your hair. You did it before, do it now.
• You don't need to spend money to have fun! Save money by cooking together and having a date night in the backyard. Set up the ambiance at your patio table. Light some candles, and enjoy some quality time.
• Go out! It has been said that couples who spend quality time together have healthier relationships. Go on a walk at sunset. Hold hands, talk about your day, just enjoy each others company.
• Ask questions. In our busy lives with children, work, and a million other tasks. We often forget to ask our spouses how they are doing. Set aside time to chat. Ask about how they're feeling, what their excited about, what is overwhelming them, and how you could help.
• Let him plan the date. Don't make it a chore or pressure him. Just tell him you're excited for a date night and would love for him to plan it. And stay open minded, just the idea of him planning anything should give you butterflies.
• Don't talk about "family things" the whole time. Indulge in each other. Talk about your vacation plans, how you wanna redo your bedroom, your next date, and even "private" plans for later. 

Our dates should be fun, relaxed, and carefree. Not heavy laden with everyday worries and stresses. There should be fun, laughter, and holding hands.

I have heard it said a gazillion times that the best gift you can give your children is a strong marriage, and I could not agree more! Investing in time alone with your husband is an investment in your whole family!