You ever have one of "those" days?

So today started out great. I got in the shower, got dressed, and got the kids ready for our day. On the way to take Alanna to school I was stopped behind a truck at a stop sign. Brycen had taken off his seat belt and as I leaned back to help him get it back on, I let my foot off the break just enough for my car to roll in to the guy in front of me's tow hitch. UGH!!!! So a busted headlight and scuffed up bumper later, my day was off to a sarcastically fantastic start. What was even worse was on this very day 2 years ago, I was rear ended. As the day progressed I found myself getting very angry, feeling like I had to blame it on something, or someone. I have just got caught up with everything financially and was ready to start planning for the next few months (which include Halloween, the kids, b-days, the USMC Ball, Christmas, New Years, and tons of parties). So to think about having to pay my $500 deductible was just stressing me out. Have you ever had something happen on one day where it just brings up all the crappy stuff that has happened before it? Well today I did!
Matt is in Colorado on training for a few weeks so of course this would happen. See it always seems like when he goes on training's that's when I get this "curse" that us military wives speak of. He was gone for 10 1/2 months and nothing major happened. The expenses we had on his "piece of work" truck were somewhat anticipated before he left. But when he leaves on training's it gets pretty stressful in the Grisham House. 
As the day went on I was mopey and just kind of under the weather. I am stressed out and I am just plain mad. But as I sit here, I am thinking that I am incredibly lucky that no one is hurt, that it was just minor damage, and the other vehicle was fine. Sometimes we get so caught up in the things that are going on in our "own" lives that we forget that we have a lot to be truly blessed by. 
I sometimes vent to my husband in a condemning manner without meaning to. Yes he has had lots of things go wrong with his truck, yes he has spent money at the wrong times on the wrong things, yes we have spent most of our marriage cleaning up our past money matters. I can try to blame the stress on the events leading up to now, but in all honesty the past is the past and I need to leave it that way. 
You know the saying "you never know what you have until it's gone"? Well I have learned a thing or two about that phrase myself. I have a lot of times been so caught up in what I do for the family that I forget what he does. Yes, I take care of most everything around here....so I thought. It wasn't until my husband left on his last deployment that I realized just how much he did do. It wasn't until I was taking out the trash, feeding and bathing the dog, washing the car, grilling some food, washing dishes after dinner, grabbing a chair to hang up pics, or doing any handy work at all. That I realized that "wow, he really does a lot more than I give him credit for". Upon my realization I did share with him my revelation so to speak. He really was so thankful just to hear that I did appreciate all the things he does for us, as well as our country. 
I guess my point is that we all have a lot on our plates and things that stress us out. But it is very important to not forget about the ones who sacrifice and do things for us as well. If it wasn't for my husbands undying commitment to his family and our country, we would not have a leg to stand on. 

Don't allow the past to determine how you feel one day to the next. Live each day as it is meant be...NEW!
Tell the ones you love that you love and appreciate them. And last but not least, never ever take for granted the blessings you have in life, for they may not always last forever. 

It's not a competition girls!

In the past 7 years as a Marine spouse, I have run into this a lot more than I had in the "civilian" world. So I ask, why do military wives feel the need to one up each other for who has the worst situation? Let me give you a few examples of what I’m referring to.

1. “You sure are lucky your husband isn't gone all the time and has only deployed once. My life is much harder than yours because my man deploys for xx months or is always gone on training's and workups.”  Okay well I am sorry that this is the case for some women. I have not endured but one deployment (10 1/2 months), my husband did not miss our kids births (we planned them while he was "non-deployable" as an Instructor). But my husbands job does require him to work long hours, he has an inconsistent schedule, and he leaves on DET's for 2-6 weeks at at time through out the year. It is not about how long he is gone. Separations from our loved ones are separations period. It doesn't matter if it’s for two weeks or two years, if its for boot camp, deployment, school, or training, it is still a separation. No matter what the situation may be, we all know what it is like to have to sleep in an empty bed. To wake up in the middle of the night thinking it was all a bad dream until you roll over and once again, he’s not there. To jump every time the phone rings hoping its him, and to panic every time the doorbell rings hoping you won’t find someone in a dress uniform on the other side.

2.  “My husband is in the field (or gone for any extended amount of time other than work) for two weeks. We've never been apart before and I don’t know how to cope" or I hate that he is gone all the time,  Any tips?” 
This could just as easily read basic training, any school, etc. The reactions from others: “Be happy he’s not in a war zone”,“Get over it, you signed on for this life”,“My husband’s been deployed for XX months. You have it so easy, quit complaining.”
Come on really? We are supposed to support each other. We should do what we can to help a fellow military spouse through whatever it is she is enduring especially if we have "I've been there, done that" advice. Why do we feel the need to play the “who’s got it worse” game? 

3. Families who feel they have the "right to know" what's going on, that being away is so much harder on them, or that if something happens to my husband that I can "just replace him".

Wow! Let’s just say I’m sure you could see the steam coming from my ears with this one. I’m not trying to debate who has it harder. But no life is replaceable and had they really thought about it, they would see how ridiculous that statement is since every husband is someone’s son. Losing my husband would be beyond devastating. And even though he is a Marine I am not prepared and actually don't even like to think of him being gone forever. I can say that (and most the time) I didn't even know where he was when he was gone. I didn't get to talk to him all the time. No he doesn't just get to communicate whenever he wants. He had to wait in line for 2+ hours to talk to me sometimes, so of course I'd be the first one he called. There is a thing called OPSEC...learn it!

In closing, we all share common ground and we can make our military communities stronger by being supportive of one another. Reach out to the wife who’s having a hard time dealing with her husband at basic training. Take the time to offer some tips to the wife who is about to endure her first deployment. Make plans with the wife who's husband is away on training. Just imagine the impact you may have on someone. For them to know that someone cares about their well being and wants to be sure they are okay and offer their help. 

So it begins....

OK so I have contemplated doing this for quite a while. The idea of sharing my thoughts and feelings with my friends by doing a blog never really crossed my mind, until a friend said that I should seriously think about it (Thanks Cassie). 
So it is rumored that us military wives and stay-at-home mom's spend our days eating chocolate kisses, meeting our girlfriends for extended lunches and playing bunco. I do all this while cleverly and conveniently avoiding work and my husband commit's to extraordinary hours serving his country. Oh, and did I mention I'm a dues-paying member of the spouse club, too?
Society, it seems, often fails to recognize contributions that aren't instantly gratified, or that don't come in fancy packaging. After a while, even we wives - the ones at home - begin to believe the labels given to us.
"What makes a woman put her own goals on hold and marry someone at a very young age, only to hop around the country with him and bear his children?"

My answer:Dress Blues

Yep, I blame it on the uniform. If Uncle Sam hadn't asked my husband to move across the country six years ago, I wouldn't have felt the need to jump on board. If the USMC  hadn't called my husband to duty, I might have put the kids in daycare, gone and gotten myself a job outside the home, and been on my way to being a college professor by now.
Oh, all right, so I hold myself accountable, too. We all have the choice to stay at home or go to work, to say "no" to the ring or catch the U-Haul to North Carolina. When faced with these choices, I alone made the decisions that have now become my life. And, theoretically, my choices are no better or worse than some of my good friends, also Military wives and mothers who works outside the home.
For those of you who know me, you know I keep one heck of schedule. I am constantly on the go. What do I do? Heck I couldn't even tell ya lol  But what I do know is that my kids and husband love me and that my life would be incomplete without the joy of making them happy (or making them mad). 
I don't look at myself as a stay at home mom. I think of myself as "Superwoman". I strive to be the best I know I can be. I am not perfect by any means, although I love to think I might be one day. 
I wake up every morning and pray that GOD gives me the patience and guidance to get through the day. Some days face lots of challenges and I find that when I pray first thing in the morning it gives me a sense of assurance that my day will go well. And when I don't pray, I feel it throughout the day. 
I face lots of challenges as a mom. I have a 4 (almost 5) year old and a 2 (almost 3) year old. Alanna is my golden child. She is (and has been) the easiest kid I have ever dealt with. She is so smart, witty, and just full of life. She is my testament that spending time with your kids makes all the difference in the world. Brycen is my challenge child. That boy can light up any room with his smile, but man can he also keep you on your toes. My kids are like night and day (literally). Alanna is a bit of a show off, she loves learning and telling everyone. Brycen is more reserved, I can try to teach him things for days and he won't show any interest until he is alone. Then all the things I had been working on with him, he will start rambling on about. Lets not forget Caitlyn. I consider her to be mine. I have been in her life since she was 15 months old and although joint custody has it's challenges, I am so glad that Matt and I can be part of her life. She is a resilient child with a sense of humor like no other. I take great pride in the differences of my kids. I embrace them and focus on their strengths. I mean that is what makes them so special. 

I do understand now, how I would hear all the time that this is fulfilling.  It is fulfilling, to know that you’re taking care of your family, that you’re sacrificing, that you’re doing so much entirely out of love.  I adore my children, and I love being with them, but that question still gets asked a lot...."there has got to be more to life than cleaning and laundry and ballet classes and playdates, and yes, even hugs and kisses?"  In my mind, the answer is "no", there isn't. I am taking care of my family. I am also sacrificing. And by juggling my family with our lifestyle, I am also doing so much entirely out of love.  It’s not better or worse, it’s just different, and I wouldn’t change a thing. This is our life!