Getting this off my chest!

There is a rule I like to follow where I don’t talk politics on Facebook or my blog. And with the overwhelming negativity and boasting on social media outlets, I am sure you could understand why. But I feel like there are a few things that I need to get off my chest. 

I am disgusted. Not with the outcome of this election, but by the words that have been used to show that we are not as united as we’d like to think. Did I vote for Obama? No, I didn’t. But I am still supportive of our nation’s decision in choosing to keep him as our President.  

As a military spouse, choosing a president is extremely important to me. With a husband who serves this country, you can understand how essential it is for me to stay on top of political issues when foreign affairs are involved.  And it is even more important for me to stand united with my country while thousands of men and women, including my husband and friends are still fighting for us. 

Both Romney and Obama supporters are guilty here. I get that those who voted for Mitt are disappointed. And I understand those who voted for Obama are overjoyed. But we can share our feelings without being foul. Recently I watched a solemn crowd listen to Gov. Romney give his last words in the 2012 election. And as he offered prayers to our President I felt at peace with this decision. But once the cameras showed Obama’s headquarters in Chicago I couldn’t help but feel disgusted by the sight of t-shirts that read “99 problems and Mitt ain’t one” “Once you go black you never go back”, or reading a sign that is in accordance with the Civil Rights Movement that read “We HAVE overcome”.  Again, I understand that our country is excited, but associating this debate with the hard times our country faced years and years ago only makes me feel like we have stepped backwards. It hurt me deeply to read that sign that almost alluded to the fact that because I didn’t vote for Obama then I must be against him as a black man. In 2008 I understood and shared in the excitement over electing our first African American President. I remember feeling a bit of joy over it as I did vote for him. But this year’s election shouldn’t have been about that at all. To suggest that those who voted for Romney to be racist (and I have seen statements that have said so) is wrong. How is that uniting us? 

But what also hurts are those who have said that our country is “stupid”, or that we are doomed because Obama has been reelected. That to me is ignorance. The majority of our country has made it clear they believe in our President. They support him. And by no means do we all have to agree with this decision, but as a united nation we should respect it. He is just one man. His decisions alone are not what shape this nation. We are not doomed. Our nation isn’t going to fall into socialist hands. We will survive another 4 years. I promise. For some it might be a little harder and for others it may come easier. But that’s all part of our democracy. That is the beauty of our country. And the fact we as a nation decide upon all issues, is one of the most admiring aspects of the Unites States of America. 

And for all who are utterly disappointed in how our election system runs, let me remind you that there are hundreds of countries that don’t ever have the choice to pick their leader. Many are forced to live under the rule of a dictator.  Be thankful for our countries right to vote. 

And I will close with how proud I am of our Presidents speech. Even though I didn’t vote for him, I must have faith in him as my president.

“I believe we can seize this future together because we are not as divided as our politics suggests. We’re not as cynical as the pundits believe. We are greater than the sum of our individual ambitions, and we remain more than a collection of red states and blue states. We are and forever will be the United States of America.” - President Barack Obama

Gobble, gobble, gobble!

It’s officially the week of Thanksgiving and you can feel it in the air! People are taking to the streets and to the stores. I’m not sure how many are dancing and spreading the blessings of thanks to one another and each and every person they see and meet along the way! But, I do know that the energy is gearing up for those days ahead and I want you to get your attitude of gratitude on as you remind yourself to be safe as you venture out and about!

While some are counting their blessings more than once, sending cards, texts, and emails of thanks to those they love.  Others are feeling the pressure. They are on the run, and running they are as the grocery stores gear up and the retailers are preparing for the opening of Black Friday. Some even beginning it on the day of Thanks and some lining up on the sidewalks to buy on sale what will still be on sale in December but they just have to have it now.

 Ah yes, Thanksgiving is upon us!

Many are looking forward to a day of great smells in their homes. Shared stories of those they love, the memories of times once held together, precious memories of those that were good, great, not so grand, or all wrapped into one.

And then there are the traditions that now are only figments of the imagination. Those times that seemed like so long ago, they were real and touchable, but yet so gone as are those who held them together.

A holiday that many savor just as the smells and aromas that fill homes or the memories of so many.

Turkey, dressings, and pies, oh my! The Thanksgiving Parade and football! The joys of a day.

A day to GIVE THANKS and to be thankful. To remember the First Americans, their hospitality, the extension of self for the greater good, and treaties broken. The circle of life in lessons learned, in gratitude. Interesting how that works isn't it?

I am thankful for so many things, so many people, so much of life's lessons and continue to be blessed by all.

I can look forward to doing that “Black Friday” thing; an interesting study in human behavior it is. I love going with friends and enjoying a pumpkin spice latte. It is a wonderful time to kick back and just people watch, to have several laughs as you watch people just lose their ever lovin' minds without filters or restraints. 

Now that is just funny and so wrong on so many levels …Maybe it is just funny that it is wrong or wrong that it is funny!

We will be spending our Thanksgiving with some of our closest friends. Gonna cook it up real nice with Nicole for about 20 people.

Sometimes it is time to change it up, to switch from what was to what is and what fits you best for now. Sometimes it is time to break from tradition.

Perhaps this year, this week is your week for major changes in how you do this holiday, and I pray you begin it with a breath of gratitude, the wind of hope that touches your face to remind you that we are all connected in this thing we call life, both here and in the next place.

Be gentle with people and extend kindness to all you encounter. Remember those who are now growing or grown and they do not need us like they once did, do not always express their love the way they once did, and we have given them the strength to fly, yet it is us who miss what once was more than they do. 

May you have a glorious day while taking one step of dance at a time and letting you decide how you will enjoy this week of Thanksgiving.

Will it be with gratitude or jacked up stress?

It is up to you now.

It's Ball time...yeah baby!

237 years ago, the United States Marine Corps was born in a tavern in Philadelphia, PA. Each year, on November 10th, Marines all over the world celebrate the birth of the Corps. Marines and their wives/dates go to balls, with a formal cake-cutting ceremony and a solemn reading of Gen. John A. Lejeune’s birthday message, summarizing the history, mission, and traditions of the Corps. The country is reminded of the valor, the pride, the honor, of being a United States Marine. The Corps values of honor, courage, and commitment still remain strong today, and Marines deployed all over the world uphold those values as they fight to defend our freedoms.

237 years later, Marines remain faithful. When Semper Fidelis was adopted as the motto of the Marine Corps, it was taken to heart. From Marines who remain fanatically devoted to their country, to the Corps, and to their fellow Marines, to the wives who stand devoted by their husbands’ sides through war and peace, we remain steadfastly faithful through the good and the bad, the easy times and the times when you feel like you can no longer go on.

As a Marine Corps wife, Semper Fidelis is my vow, too. It is my duty and my honor to stand beside him, to be always faithful not only to my husband but to the values of the Marine Corps as well. It takes honor to be a Marine Corps wife. It takes courage and commitment, especially when your husband is fighting halfway around the world and you don’t know if he’ll be coming back or not. It takes a special kind of woman to be the wife of a Marine. When you marry a Marine, you aren’t just marrying the man. You’re marrying the Marine Corps as well, and Semper Fidelis applies to the women left behind as well as the men who don the uniform.

There are many nights when I can’t sleep for fear. There are many times when I feel like I can’t go on alone anymore, living in terror and loneliness. There are times when I would love to have my husband never deploy again, for us to live a life of civilian peace. And there are those occasional phone calls, where he tells me he doesn’t think he can do it anymore, either. Being a Marine, or the wife of one, doesn’t mean there are never moments of doubt, or fear, or anger. It means that we persist despite those feelings; we continue on because we believe in the Corps, we believe in what we are fighting for. When he feels like he can’t keep going, I raise him up. When I feel like I can’t do it anymore, I remember the man that he is, the pride I feel in his courage and his convictions, and I remember that our shared sacrifice will lead to a better world for our children and our grandchildren. I support him unconditionally, and I will remain faithful to the very end. Semper Fidelis is my motto, too.

Not only on this special day we celebrate every year, but always, remember the Marines around the world who sacrifice every day defending our freedoms. Remember the families left behind. And remember the Marines who made the ultimate sacrifice, Marines who heard their country’s call and gave their all.

This coming Saturday I get to celebrate this AMAZING celebration of the Marine Corps with my husband. I am soooo excited to get my hair and nails done, put on my dress and heels, and get all fancied up with my Marine. We will also be celebrating 7 wonderful years together.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the glamour of the Ball that we forget what it's truly about. Be proud and stand by your man. And have a lil fun while you're at it :)

Tagged!

It's been like 90 billion years since I've been tagged in one of these things, but Ash decided she wanted to know these fun facts about me... So here you go!

#1. What did you do ten years ago?

Let's see... I would have been 20 years old. I was a waitress and going to school. I was hanging out at bars and singing karaoke evevy Tuesday at TGI Fridays. Oh those were the days! 

#2. What did you do one year ago?

A year ago my husband was deployed and I was enjoying my first day back in Cali in 3 1/2 years. 

#3. Five snacks that you like?

Wheat Thins, Cheeze-its, Chesse Puffs, anything chocolate, and strawberries, I guess.

#4. Five things you would do if you were a millionaire?
-BUY A HOUSE!!! 
-Go on another missions trip
-Take a vacation and bring all my friends
-Wardrobe malfunction days be gone.
-Buy houses/cars/clothes for all my family. :)

#6. Five bad habits?
-Become obsessive about projects
-Being too critical about myself 
-Caring too much 
-Facebook. Is it really necessary? Yes. ;)
-Checking my alarm 500 million times before I go to sleep-- just to make sure.

#7. Five things you like to do?
-Be with Matt.
-Be with Family.
-Go to Church.
-Drink wine
-Watch my kids grow up.

#8. Five things you would never dress in or buy?
-Anything with shoulder pads.
-Leather pants.
-Crocs. 
-Things with never ending ruffles. 
-Non flattering anything-in my standards

#9. Five Favorite Toys:
-My phone.
-Laptop.
-Camera
-Car
-Ipod!


I am not going to tag anyone specifically, so if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged! :)

How to deal with people who complain all the time

We have all been there. Whether it was friends or family that were annoying us all the time with their endless complaints and not doing anything about it attitudes. I find that there is a lot of this in the Military community because we are constantly being put in situations the average person isn't used to. But what do we do? How do we deal with these sorts of people without being rude? Here are some little tips I came up with during a recent conversation with a close friend of mine. (Thanks Ash) 

There is a difference between someone who needs help and a chronic complainer. A person who is actually asking a question or wants advice will ask once and generally take it or thank you for your suggestions. A chronic complainer does not want actual solutions to the problems they are talking about or for you to join in their complaints. If they did, once you gave them a solution, they would stop complaining. Generally ignoring and confronting them won't work since they may become more agitated, passive-aggressive or unload on someone else, which could make the whole situation blow way out of proportion.

So here are some tips:

• Show complainers you understand. The key to stopping the complainer is to give them what they want, and complainers want empathy. This is why solutions like joining with them ("yes, they are just pathetic"), cheering them up, or ignoring them may not solve the problem. Saying things like "I don't know how you deal with so much" or "It really sounds like you had a tough day" eliminates the cycle of complaints and gives the complainer what he is looking for.
• Don't be sarcastic, and you don't have to agree with complainers. Realize that what may seem like a trivial matter for you, is a big deal for them, and the proof is that they are going on and on about it.
• Try different solutions. There is no one solution that will work for every person. Agreeing with the complainer since this may "take the wind out of his sails." Particularly if the complainer is looking for arguments, the quickest way to end an argument is to concede. Sharing a story of someone who perhaps was in a similar situation. This separates you from telling the person what to do (which may appear bossy) into you telling a story of someone else. It may help them stop and think.
• Let them vent into a solution. Writing it out for everyone to see. Try writing on a board two columns, one entitled "Ways to Make It Work," the second, "Why It Won't Work." Have the person come up with ideas for both sides, then cross out the second section and say that we need to focus on fixing the problem and move on.
• Try jokes. If you have been told by others that you do have a good sense of humor (not in your personal opinion) try to find a way to make the situation funny. Do not embarrass the complainer. Try to focus on you or the general situation. While the complainer may not laugh at first, if they see that others laugh at it, they may begin to realize there is something wrong with them or their perception.
• Set boundaries. There may be some things you can't solve. Some people only complain when a painful past issue or hot topic is brought up. If this is not something you can or want to solve, put a boundary on what you or they will talk about.

If you get seriously get fed up listening to the complainer complain. Then be honest and say that you don't want to hear it anymore. Sometimes we become so consumed in other peoples issues that when it comes to dealing with our own, we don't. Never let someone else's problems become yours. It's a vicious cycle. 

Where does the time go?

It’s almost that time. My last child is getting too old for naps and that special time I had with him, snuggling up in the afternoon is finally going to be gone. My favorite part of parenting has always been that feeling of a child curling up on my chest or snuggling next to me and then going to sleep. I don’t know how else to explain it except that it feels like a perpetual hug. I wish they could stay little for a lot longer.

My kids are growing so fast. Brycen will be 3 in four weeks and Alanna will be 5 in less than two months.

• Caitlyn is growing too fast. She’s starting to look long and beautiful, a real little lady.

• Alanna is our little book worm. She is so smart and picks up things very easily. She will be the brainiac of the three.

• Brycen is no longer the noisy toy loving kid he used to be. Now he’s all about monster trucks and trains. He gets excited about playing with legos and building things. He is also so inquisitive.

All of this is cool. It’s amazing to watch them grow and mature. When I first saw it happening in them I comforted myself with, “They'll always be my babies.”

Now that’s going away too.

Brycen wants to be like his older siblings so badly that he tries to do everything they do. Sometimes he succeeds but mostly it just ends in frustration. It’s very cute to watch, we comfort him and it all works out. He throws the most tantrums but I understand where it comes from. And I see in his eyes the understanding he is acquiring about everything around him and he doesn't want to be little anymore. At almost 3 he is done with baby toys, tricycles, and almost pull-ups and will start t-ball sooner than I can imagine.

Regularly, someone I’m talking to will say, “Hey, pretty soon your littlest one will be going off to Kindergarten and you’ll have all of them in school full time. Wow, you’ll enjoy that!”

I just wish they’d shut up!

Time? Where do I find the time?

As a mom I sometimes feel stressed everyday because it feels that I have too much to do and not enough time to get it done.  As a busy mom of 2 I know this feeling all too well.  Fortunately I have somewhat learned how to use  time management skills that I learned from my own mother, other moms, and in the workplace to manage my time at home.  I believe that balance in life is one of the keys to happiness, and that all moms should be able to balance what they have to do with what they want to do.

My days are very busy and there is always too much to do and not enough time.  

However, at the end of the day I almost always get it all done.  

My day is full of little events, activities and chores that fill up, even before it starts. Most of these things seem insignificant and usually never ending. We fill up our days with wiping counters, cleaning up our children's messes, playing, and running errands. In between breaths and during naps, we check email, update our Facebook and maybe even grab a cup of coffee.

What about the important things of the day? The big events? The big projects? The big priorities? Like reading to your kids every day, being attentive to your husband, spending quiet time with your Bible or keeping your body healthy with food and exercise? Will they fit into our lives when we are overrun with all the little things?

Hardly. As mothers we generally spend more time focused on others—school schedules, husband’s work and kids’ activities. And our big priorities? They become an afterthought. 

What if you got up early and read your Bible? What if you stopped fretting about spotless floors and spent time playing with your kids? What if you shut the computer during breakfast and talked about your kids’ day? What would happen to all those little things that “have to” get done?

I know, as a mom, I don’t have time for time management! I volunteer with the SNCO Wives Club, go to Bible study,  Assistant Coach my daughters soccer team, I am our church Nursery Coordinator, I volunteer as a FRA for my husbands squadron, and keep busy with other activities. But I do have time for priorities. I do have time to do what's important. I do have time to focus on the good, big, significant things.

Putting the laundry away. Spending an hour or two with my husband before I fall asleep. Reading my Bible before the kids wake up. Taking a shower and getting dressed before breakfast.

When I do those things, I find myself empowered to tackle bigger things while still enjoying the small things (Facebook, blogging, girls’ nights out , and getting pampered) as I want.