So in the past 7 years of being a Military Spouse I have learned quite a bit about friendships. You enter an entirely new lifestyle that only those living it can fully understand.
Recently I said "see ya later" to my best friend. She is my partner in crime, my confidant, my battle buddy, my stand-in spouse when my real spouse is gone. And a few short days ago, she left me behind as she embarked on her next PCS adventure. And in the next few months I will be the one saying "see you later".
Saying “good-bye” to friends is not a unique concept in our military world. We’re always on the move. We don’t have the luxury of settling down in one location for the rest of our lives, of watching our children grow up with the same circle of friends they’ve had since birth, of knowing we’ll never have to update our address books. No, most military families are in a constant state of motion. And with all that moving around comes a steady stream of good-byes.
So how do we handle all these good-byes? How do we maintain and nurture the friendships we form throughout our military travels?
It’s not easy, but remember, we’re Military Spouses. So we use the skills we've learned from being married to service members and apply them to our friends. We adapt. We make the effort to communicate. We alter our expectations. We rely on technology. We send care packages. We find ways to overcome time and distance. We get creative. And at the end of the day, we remind ourselves of the secret formula that makes military spouse friendships as long-lasting and special as they are:
Our bonds don’t break. There’s something about sharing the ups and downs of military life with other spouses that strengthens our bond with each other. I have friends who have no connection to the military, and as close as we may be in every other aspect of our lives, we will never have the bond I share with my Military friends.
We’re only a phone call apart. We may be geographically challenged, but that doesn't matter when it comes to our friendships. Thanks to cell phones, Facebook, email, texting, and Skype, our friends are never as far away as we think they are. Sure, they may not be around to meet up for a play date or a Girl's Night Out, but they’re still there when we need to share exciting news or shed a few tears. (Plus, we’ll never complain about phone calls in the middle of the night. Our husbands call at all hours of the day. We’re used to it.)
We will meet again. I know that someday my friend and I may or may not be stationed together again. But it’s never good-bye. It’s see you later.
We pick up where we left off. It doesn't matter if we've lived on opposite ends of the country or world for years, when we do finally meet again, we manage to fall right back into step with each other as if we had simply been on vacation. Children may get bigger and we may change, but our friendships remain the same.
In the next couple of days, my best friend will be crossing state lines and opening the front door to a house that is no longer than an hour from my parents house. She will no longer be the emergency contact listed, she will won't be one of my stops to say "hi", she won't come over to hang out, and she won't be at Girls Nights Out. I’m heartbroken that she’s gone, but I know eventually that revolving door will bring her back to me, and we’ll pick up where we left off.
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