Wednesday, August 29, 2012

So it begins....


OK so I have contemplated doing this for quite a while. The idea of sharing my thoughts and feelings with my friends by doing a blog never really crossed my mind, until a friend said that I should seriously think about it (Thanks Cassie). 
So it is rumored that us military wives and stay-at-home mom's spend our days eating chocolate kisses, meeting our girlfriends for extended lunches and playing bunco. I do all this while cleverly and conveniently avoiding work and my husband commit's to extraordinary hours serving his country. Oh, and did I mention I'm a dues-paying member of the spouse club, too?
Society, it seems, often fails to recognize contributions that aren't instantly gratified, or that don't come in fancy packaging. After a while, even we wives - the ones at home - begin to believe the labels given to us.
"What makes a woman put her own goals on hold and marry someone at a very young age, only to hop around the country with him and bear his children?"

My answer:Dress Blues


Yep, I blame it on the uniform. If Uncle Sam hadn't asked my husband to move across the country six years ago, I wouldn't have felt the need to jump on board. If the USMC  hadn't called my husband to duty, I might have put the kids in daycare, gone and gotten myself a job outside the home, and been on my way to being a college professor by now.

Oh, all right, so I hold myself accountable, too. We all have the choice to stay at home or go to work, to say "no" to the ring or catch the U-Haul to North Carolina. When faced with these choices, I alone made the decisions that have now become my life. And, theoretically, my choices are no better or worse than some of my good friends, also Military wives and mothers who works outside the home.
For those of you who know me, you know I keep one heck of schedule. I am constantly on the go. What do I do? Heck I couldn't even tell ya lol  But what I do know is that my kids and husband love me and that my life would be incomplete without the joy of making them happy (or making them mad). 
I don't look at myself as a stay at home mom. I think of myself as "Superwoman". I strive to be the best I know I can be. I am not perfect by any means, although I love to think I might be one day. 
I wake up every morning and pray that GOD gives me the patience and guidance to get through the day. Some days face lots of challenges and I find that when I pray first thing in the morning it gives me a sense of assurance that my day will go well. And when I don't pray, I feel it throughout the day. 
I face lots of challenges as a mom. I have a 4 (almost 5) year old and a 2 (almost 3) year old. Alanna is my golden child. She is (and has been) the easiest kid I have ever dealt with. She is so smart, witty, and just full of life. She is my testament that spending time with your kids makes all the difference in the world. Brycen is my challenge child. That boy can light up any room with his smile, but man can he also keep you on your toes. My kids are like night and day (literally). Alanna is a bit of a show off, she loves learning and telling everyone. Brycen is more reserved, I can try to teach him things for days and he won't show any interest until he is alone. Then all the things I had been working on with him, he will start rambling on about. Lets not forget Caitlyn. I consider her to be mine. I have been in her life since she was 15 months old and although joint custody has it's challenges, I am so glad that Matt and I can be part of her life. She is a resilient child with a sense of humor like no other. I take great pride in the differences of my kids. I embrace them and focus on their strengths. I mean that is what makes them so special. 
I do understand now, how I would hear all the time that this is fulfilling.  It is fulfilling, to know that you’re taking care of your family, that you’re sacrificing, that you’re doing so much entirely out of love.  I adore my children, and I love being with them, but that question still gets asked a lot...."there has got to be more to life than cleaning and laundry and ballet classes and playdates, and yes, even hugs and kisses?"  In my mind, the answer is "no", there isn't. I am taking care of my family. I am also sacrificing. And by juggling my family with our lifestyle, I am also doing so much entirely out of love.  It’s not better or worse, it’s just different, and I wouldn’t change a thing. This is our life!