Giving them a choice? Nothing wrong with that!

I have been asked on several occasions when and where my children were baptized. To my surprise the response I get when I say that they are not, is one to get a persons nerves roweled up. "How do you raise your kids that way?", "How do you expect them to have a relationship with the Lord?", "Well don't you pray and go to church?", "That's wrong, they should be baptized!" 

(Disclaimer: Not all responses are negative, but 95% of the time people are a bit confused)

Since when does a child being baptized define their relationship or belief in the Lord?

 Today many churches sprinkle infants on the head and call it baptism. This is not the baptism of the bible! When the bible speaks of baptism, it tells us of adult men and women who make a deliberate choice. They want to obey the Lord Jesus and be baptized.  

Before Matt and I were married and had children, we made a commitment to each other to strengthen our bond with the Lord. With that, came the decision to include our children in our walk. What kind of parents would we be to practice such a life and not share all the wonderfulness the Lord brings to our life with our kids? We made the decision to have our kids dedicated rather than baptized for one simple reason-that reason being that our children's relationship with the Lord  is something sacred and should be for them to decide. In dedicating our children we promised to teach, acknowledge, and honor God in our children's lives. We cannot tell them who to believe in, how to practice that belief, or even whether it is right or wrong. Our job as parents is to guide and teach our children what we feel is right. And what is right in our mind may not be right in theirs (when they are old enough to decide that), and that is fine.  We want our children to make that decision when they feel they are ready. 

We want them to feel excited about their decision to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

I understand what we believe is not the same for everyone.

I do believe that as long as our children grow up in home filled with love for Jesus Christ that the chances are they will follow down the path that was planned for them all along. 

A little change is good...right?

As some of you may know, I have decided to venture into "home based business"-hood. 

I will be a Thirty-One consultant. 

With this decision came another, to change the title of my blog from "I do a lot of things, none of which generate an income" to "2183 life...with a sprinkle of EVERYTHING". The numbers represent Matt and I. Our jersey numbers in high school sports were 21 and 83. And the sprinkles represent everything else, kinda like the icing on the cake. You can't have one without the other and I wouldn't be complete without my other half. 

I wanna say a special thank you to all my family and friends who have supported me in my adulthood journey. I've had some ups and downs, but I have truly found my calling. With a lot of faith, grace, prayer, and undying love...I have truly learned to enjoy the little things in life. 

I am excited for my adventure and the new year. The sky is the limit and I am reaching for the stars!

14 things I'm gonna change in 2014

With the new year rapidly approaching, I have started thinking about things that I would like to change in my personal and professional life. So I have compiled a list of 14 things I want to change about my life in 2014.

• Seeing the good. Since I made my last "resolutions", I have found I need to revisit the idea of "things ALWAYS could be worse". I feel that this outlook on life is working for me, but still a little bit of hurt sinks in every once in a while.  I need to keep an optimistic point of view and trust in God to just let the amazing happen. 
• My extra load (weight). I definitely don't need that! Just because I am married and have kids does not mean that I need to get lazy! I've made a few major changes and my progress is showing, but I need to stay focused. 
• Drama. I can always ditch the people who bring drama into my life. But someone always sneaks in an attack. While I understand that drama brings a little entertainment to some peoples lives. I realize I don't need nor want it in mine, it really is unnecessary. 
• No junk food! maybe less coffee and soda too...
• Clutter!!! I don't like or need it!
• Negativity.  I do not need people who are negative in my life, whatsoever. Negativity is infectious... It is way too easy to spread. It already takes a ton of effort to try and be optimistic! I definitely do not need someone hanging around me that makes that outlook even harder!
• Debt. We don't have much, but I don't want any!
• Over-committing. I have my hands dipped in too much. I need to start saying "NO!".
• More crafting. I guess everyone goes through changes... but I miss crafting. I just need to find the motivation and inspiration. 
• Speaking of inspiration. I need to purge my bookmarks. I HAVE TONS. 
• Procrastination. Let's just say that...I don't do it often, but when I do, my days seem to get all messed up lol
• Praying. I need to spend more time with God. I have the tendency of trying to do things on my time instead of relying on God's time. With lots of prayer and grace, I will soon be on the right track ;)
• Less time on social media!!! No explanation needed.
• Time with my husband. I love that man of mine dearly. I want to spend as much time with him as I quite possibly can.

We can all use a little makeover in our lives. What things would you like to change? How will you go about eliminating or adding them into your life? Remember you're never alone in your walk, you just gotta find the right people to walk with you :)

Dating my husband

I have had several talks with my friends about date nights with their husbands and spending "alone" time together. 

Much to my surprise (or not) there is one theme that seems consistent. It's how busy our lives are. It's no wonder...with jobs, kids, soccer games, girl scouts, volunteering, and other activities that chip away at our time, that it's hard for parents to find time for each other. 

But it is very important! 

Remember when you were dating your husband, before you got married, and you promised each other that kids, life, and work, and being tired would NEVER get in the way of the two of you dating? Remember those conversations? I do. And even though we try really hard to hold true to those promises, life does happen and fitting a date in can be complicated and sometimes so much work, that it doesn't even seem worth it.

My husbands work schedule is inconsistent. We don't know from one day to the next if he'll be home. He can leave for days to weeks at a time. I volunteer quite a bit of my time and stay busy with our kids and thier activities. To some this may not seem like a recipe for success, and there are some nights when I am dealing with bed time and clean up that I wish I had a second pair of hands to help. But what we lack in time, we make up for with love and commitment. 

Marriage is the foundation for all families. Together, you and your husband are partners in writing your family story. Once the honeymoon is over and children become part of our relationship, we need to be much more intentional about making time for our spouses. We are both committed to giving each child our personal attention through various family activities, cuddles, story time, kid dates, and just plain fun.

We are committed to each other and to making the other a priority. This is so important because our children need to see love and respect between their parents. It helps create that model for how their future relationships should be.

Here are some of our tips on dating your spouse: 

• Remember love is an action verb. It is not something that just happens. It is something you actively do. Once you stop doing it, it can go away. Love unconditionally! 
• Have "privacy". When you have jokes, traditions, places, songs, and experiences that are just YOURS together, it makes every day more fun. 
• Don't get hung up on spontaneity. Before we had kids, dating was spontaneous and wild. I think every couple goes through a bit of a mourning process when you realize that you have to schedule and plan in advance for time alone. Don't fight it, embrace it. Don't be afraid to schedule time for a date or even something a bit more sexy.
• Don't let go of spontaneity. Even though we heavily rely on our calenders, it's always nice when we get to sneak off in a corner or closet for a quick make out, or the kitchen for a dance. It kind of reminds me of when we were kids hiding from our parents. Only now we are parents hiding from our kids. We always get caught, but it's fun while it lasts ;)
• Look hot! Fix yourself up. Put on a cute outfit, perfume, and style your hair. You did it before, do it now.
• You don't need to spend money to have fun! Save money by cooking together and having a date night in the backyard. Set up the ambiance at your patio table. Light some candles, and enjoy some quality time.
• Go out! It has been said that couples who spend quality time together have healthier relationships. Go on a walk at sunset. Hold hands, talk about your day, just enjoy each others company.
• Ask questions. In our busy lives with children, work, and a million other tasks. We often forget to ask our spouses how they are doing. Set aside time to chat. Ask about how they're feeling, what their excited about, what is overwhelming them, and how you could help.
• Let him plan the date. Don't make it a chore or pressure him. Just tell him you're excited for a date night and would love for him to plan it. And stay open minded, just the idea of him planning anything should give you butterflies.
• Don't talk about "family things" the whole time. Indulge in each other. Talk about your vacation plans, how you wanna redo your bedroom, your next date, and even "private" plans for later. 

Our dates should be fun, relaxed, and carefree. Not heavy laden with everyday worries and stresses. There should be fun, laughter, and holding hands.

I have heard it said a gazillion times that the best gift you can give your children is a strong marriage, and I could not agree more! Investing in time alone with your husband is an investment in your whole family!

And it starts....again.....

Today marks the 1 month countdown until the day my last baby celebrates another birthday. I still can't believe he will be 4! Then exactly 1 month and 3 days after his birthday comes the birthday of our little Princess, who will be 6. Seriously, where does the time go?

When I look at my life, it’s divided into two clear sections: before kids and after. The day our Princess was born, my life began. I almost can’t remember what my world was like before that day. From that point on, everything had changed; I had a purpose. It was completely and utterly clear that I was put on this planet to be a mother to this child. Then, 23 months later, that feeling intensified as we welcomed our second bundle of joy into the world.

For the past almost 6 years, I've immersed myself into these children. Oh, the things we love to do: we go to the park, do arts and crafts, go digging for bugs, make forts—you know, all that cute little-kid stuff. But now, those things are slowly no longer appealing to them—rightly so. But they still appeal to me. Doesn't that count for anything?

I long for those baby days. I miss those days. Yeah, it was hard and I struggled to keep it all together. But I also loved it with every fiber of my being.

So I find myself at times  crying over toys that my children no longer desire. Every time I get like this—I try to remind myself of the beauty that is my children growing up. I think of all the things that are cool about their not being babies anymore. Truth be told, we do have a lot more fun as a family these days. We can take in a movie that does not include cartoon characters, go out to eat without a fuss, amusement parks, fishing, museums, hiking, and so much more..... oh how I enjoy watching my kids enjoy themselves.

I love who my children are today. I love seeing their little personalities develop and grow—yet I yearn for the past. But I have recently begun to ask myself: If I were go to back in time to hang out with them as toddlers, would I miss the older children they are becoming today? 

Yes… I would probably miss it all very much. The fact is—and what I need to continue to remind myself with each little meltdown—that each age and stage brings something new and exciting. The hard part, however, is saying goodbye to the stage before—to the little pieces of innocence that keep chipping away.

But even given that fact, I still miss the days when they were real little and completely dependent on me. And I wonder what will become of me when they no longer need me.

I miss the adorable little people who used to place me at the center of their world. But I am so proud of the little people they’re becoming. I must force myself to see the beauty in that.

I belong to a group, one people like to write about.....

So I’ve been reading up on the latest books out there regarding being married to the military and how to cope with our lives in this environment. All I can say is WOW! There are a few pretty good books out there! Most, if not all are just very vague, simply stating ‘military’ or 'soldier' and from their point of view being in just their husbands MOS but still vague and sometimes inaccurate pertaining to the masses. If you or someone you know isn't aware please inform them that our guys are Marines and NOT soldiers! Depending on how "moto" your Marine is he may rudely correct the unsuspecting individual of how strongly these men feel about going through the toughest boot camp around and a part of the "Few and the Proud". Marines may be the smallest force, but have been a part of every major war requiring the strongest punch in the face and show of force for the United States or our allies.

One of the lady authors referred to the traditions and abbreviations our husbands use on a daily basis as ‘really stupid acronyms and jargon’.

I get utterly flabbergasted and kind of ticked off to read these books! Thank goodness most are for informational purposes only. 

My hope and prayer is to put out more clearly defined information which helps everyone that has anything to do with the Marine Corps a better understanding of why our lives are the way they are. As the Marine Corps have proved time and time again, this organization is unique and is set apart from all the rest. So our traditions, views, organizations and ways of life are just as different. We are proud, patriotic, close knit and take care of our own at all costs. I’m off to go and do some more research!

Take a LINKS class! You'll get a lot of info that way. If you like the gossip, well just keep that to yourself ;P

I didn't mean I wanted to be sick on my "sick day"!

Why is it that when Moms get sick life must still go on? Isn't there a Substitute Mom line that we can call when we need to take a sick day? I sure wish there was, because this girl would totally be dialing those digits!

I am so sick of being sick. I have had this terrible sore throat and fever for 2 days. I mean really. I rarely get sick & when I do it usually lasts less than a day. This crap (whatever it is) has found my Kryptonite. My healthy cells have surrendered & are waving the white flag!

This is serious stuff...

I wake up sweating so bad & gasping for breath that I throw my hands in the air & wave them like I just don't care...but I do care, because at that very moment I am not able to move or swallow! I hobble around like an old lady to the bathroom, soak a washcloth with scalding hot water & breathe in the vapors. I am able to catch a breath long enough to tell Matt...I am seriously going to die. 

When I eat anything, I get that tickle in my throat just about the time to swallow & the pain starts again . 

I've been sick before and should remember how to handle this kind of situation a little better without thinking I should start planning my funeral every time the disease arises.. I know...now you know where my drama Queen and King get it. Right?

Nighttime is actually the best time for me if I can just get to sleep...because once asleep the pain stops. No wonder my body has been wanting me to nap like 4 times a day, all this sickness can wear you out!

Sleep is good when you are sick!!!

Sleep is not allowed when you are a Stay At Home Super Mom of 2 busy children

Must keep eyes open & on them at all times...It is my JOB!

Must kick this sickness...I need my JOB!

Wish I could call in a Substitute Mom...

Anyone have the number?

Anyone wanna SUB for me for a few days while I catch my BREATH...Literally!

Matt has been amazing. Even though he has gotten home after 2 am the last couple of days, he has stayed on me about resting. And still loves me even though I look pathetic and like death.  I have a doc appointment in the am, I hope they can "cure" me! 

The world is still kind

I honestly believe that being able to bless others in life is a true way to humble ones self.  

Sometimes I can't seem to understand why some people don't help others. And I'm not talking about lending people money, giving them your clothes, or sharing your vehicle (although those are all fabulous things to do). I'm talking about helping them out with simple things. Things that cost nothing, like helping someone unload groceries, clean their home, or watching their child.

I have seen GOD working in different ways in so many peoples lives this week. I have witnessed the power of a giving heart and the way it can touch someones life. 

I am selfish by nature, but I am a giver at heart. I spend countless hours giving my time to people and things that aren't my own. These cost me nothing but time. I understand that time is money, but if you do right by others, GOD will definitely bless you. 

Sometimes I just wish the world was a little kinder. I know we can't get everything we wish for in life. If I could have one wish it would be for people to care more about other people. Sometimes I wonder how this world we live in got so cold. 

My life hasn't been easy. I have my own struggles and triumphs. But I stay positive and push forward. I've made it my daily "work" to still find it in my heart to help others daily. 

My heart is filled with so much joy and admiration of all the women (and men) that have pulled together and made things happen this week. I am grateful to be part of a community that is so gracious and giving, even when it sometimes feels like it is the very thing that takes so much away from us. So I leave you with this quote "Harness the power of today. Seize the blessings of today! Make something happen, enhance your life, make someone laugh, help a friend, love, love, love!"-Steve Maraboli

Oh Kindergarten...I'm glad my kid loves you :P

Summer is dwindling and the time has come for us to have some significant structure back in our lives. My children have been fabulous all summer and the past few days they have been fighting. Brycen misses his playmate. Alanna  started kindergarten this year. I cannot believe it.  I have spent countless hours testing Alanna. She has made huge strides in every way. I cant wait to see the progress she will make in the year to come. I have been so excited about it that I hadn't stopped to think about how my heart was feeling about my Princess's journey into school.

The first day of kindergarten was an emotional one for me. It is a sure sign that my children are getting older and entering a new chapter in their lives. Everything that I have invested in them about life and how to treat others is going to be be put to the test. 

I went to Alanna's school to meet her teacher and fill out her paperwork the day before school started. The moment I stepped out of my car, my stomach started turning. NEW place, NEW faces, NEW voices, NEW smell...totally nervous...while all the while my little Princess was just as happy as can be. 

As I walked out of the building I was holding back the tears that I just couldn't dare to show. She was so happy and I was so sad.  So back home we went to prepare for her 1st day of Kindergarten.

So the BIG day came and she was excited as can be. She even had me straighten her hair. Then the time came to walk up the hill to the bus stop. She was so excited to see familiar faces and quickly clung to her favorite friend. As I heard the cheers coming from all the kids and the joy that took over their little faces, I had a moment of clarity. BUT it still didn't change the fact that MY baby was among those exciting little people and I was all of sudden having my life flash before my eyes. 

That day seemed like the longest day ever. The time came for her to get off the bus. Her face lit up when she saw me and when I asked how her day was, she said, "It was the best ever! I love Kindergarten!"  

Our Princess is a big girl and we are so proud of her.

Pray with me that her teacher and her assistant will see her heart. That she will bring them joy. That they can smile and appreciate all the life she brings to those around her and feel the love that she truly brings to my heart each and every day. 

This time always sucks!

So the summer has come to an end! Well at least the part of it we get with Caitlyn. 

This part is always rough....honestly....It sucks!!!

I'm really gonna miss her! Even with all the attitude and drama, she is still the same little ray of sunshine she was when I first met her. The love and admiration she has for me, her daddy, her brother and sister, and us as a whole is enough to melt anyone's heart.

We have had one heck of a summer. Full of fun, fun, and more fun!!!

I'd be lying if I said it's all rainbows and butterflies when we are all together. We spend a lot of time having to adjust to each other, and then by the time we got it down, it's time for her to leave again. But one thing that never changes is the love we all have and the anticipation of the next time we all get to be together again.

We are a blended family. A modern day poster of what life is like for a lot of people....and we wouldn't have it any other way!

Dang schedule!

So most of you that know me....know that I take most things in stride. I am not too much of a complainer and I try to stay positive and optimistic about most things. But the last month has proved to me just how much I seriously dislike my husband working nights. I used to think it wasn't so bad. Okay I retract that last statement, it's always been bad lol
I love that Matt's job provides lots of security for our family, but it's never ending cycle of inconsistency can wear on ones life (mostly mine j/k). And being that in a recent conversation with my husband we came to the conclusion that we have spent more than 1/2 our relationship with him on nights (not including deployments or "trips"), makes me sad.
I am not only a stay at home mom. I volunteer, run around with the kids, and try to keep myself sane with "me" time. But when most of what I do revolves around my husbands schedule and it all of sudden changes at the drop of a hat, it can be pretty frustrating. So here I am...doing dinner, the night time routine with the kids, watching worthless television, and going to bed alone. I want him home, not only to be here to help, but because the kids and I actually like to be around him. Maybe I'm being overzealous!

Maybe lots of you can relate. Maybe this is foreign to some. This is not a "bitch fest" on my behalf. Just simply an insight to how overwhelmed I feel here lately. But I am gonna keep on smiling and cherish the moments we do get together. After all, he is mine until the end of time :)

Mom of 2...sometimes 3

I have 3 kids! But truth be told no matter how much I try not to use the step-mom title...I am one. So I say I am a Mom of 2...sometimes 3. 

Writing this has been hard for me, putting down in words the way I feel about being a stepmother presented to be quite the challenge. I have never spoken to a stepmother who hasn't been in a similar position to me or who hasn't felt the same way I do in some point in time, which is why I have chosen to publish this.

It's rare that I admit it, but sometimes being a step-mom is really hard. For me, being Mom"ish" is like having the job I always dreamed of and finding out the benefit package has a couple of major things missing but I work around it because I love it so much. I work with the best people, love what I do, feel like I'm at my very best when I'm doing it, find personal satisfaction in doing the job, and believe I'm making a difference. It's the role of a lifetime and yet sometimes its still hard to do, not because I don't love it but because sometimes even the job you love takes work and patience.

When Matt and I first started dating I was quite turned off by the idea of dating a 21 year old divorcee with a kid. It definitely wasn't my idea of fun. I honestly didn't want to meet Caitlyn unless he told her mother 1st. I had been through the single parent thing with a good friend of mine. Seeing her struggles of dealing with an ex and his family were enough to put up a red flag. But, we're still kickin', so obviously that means I stuck it out.

I struggled with my "role" for the longest time. I really didn't know my place. I love kids. And she loved me. But being her Mom-ish just wasn't my idea of living the dream. I moved cross country to be with the man I loved, and no sooner than 3 weeks later his daughter was living with us and I was all of sudden her Primary care-giver. WTH? I had no idea how to deal with having a child in my possession 24/7. I spent lots of time setting up her room and trying to make the house kid-friendly. And I was excited. Until, I realized that no one cared about me or how I was feeling. They all wanted to know how the kid was adjusting to us, not me to her. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a little resentment. I was going through my first real "grown-up" move and living cross country from everyone I knew. For what? To be a Mom? 

Being a Step-mom isn’t easy: it’s a tough balancing act. If like me, the first kids you parent are your stepkids, you get the work of learning to be a parent at the same time that you have to learn when to stand aside.

I have no doubt that the lessons in patience I receive as a step-mom are the direct result of my inherit lack of patience before I became a parent. The part that takes the most patience? Learning to be patient with "the other family" and understanding that when things are said that are hurtful and short sided, they're said out of insecurity, misunderstanding, miscommunication, or misplaced fear. Its so easy to blame the step-mom for something mom's family doesn't like or understand. Its simple to think that she can't love or care for the family as much as mom's family did or still does. Its only logical to think that she must be the cause of all of the difficulties that come up in a divorced family. Blaming the step-mom is easy but not always the right answer. 

Being a Mother is one of the most difficult jobs you will ever have.  Being a stepmother… well, let’s just say at times it can be even more difficult than being a mother.  Now I cannot speak for every stepmother, I can only tell you about my journey as a step-mom   A rocky road filled with jewels. 

The Stepmonster

Think about word association. When I say "Mother," you might say: caring, loving, nurturing, and helpful.Good things, right? Your mother is a really important person in your life. The one who brought you into the world, who is always there for you no matter what. Who picks you up when you fall. The one person who loves you unconditionally.

Now, when I say "Stepmother," you might say: cold, distant, and uncomfortable; and if you’ve seen any Disney movies: evil, wicked, jealous, manipulative, and murderous. Think about all the movies you've seen that include a stepmother, the books, the fairy tales. The stepmother is the evil one. When there’s a happy ending, the stepmother ends up defeated, dead, or cast aside, as the parents—who always loved each other, they just didn't know it—get back together. Ahh, the fairy tale! The fairy tale ending never includes the stepmother. Let’s be honest here for a minute. Stepmothers aren't exactly a mother’s favorite addition to a child’s life. You can pretend you don’t mind, but think about it, how would you react to another woman trying to raise your children? Of course I understand the impulse to resent a stepmother. The thought of another woman parenting my kids gives me the heebie jeebies, too. But making an effort to understand and accept the step-mom can make things much smoother for your kids. What do you really think of how they contribute to that child’s life? There’s a voice in the back of your head, isn't there? It accuses them, it condemns them, it utters the words no stepmother wants to hear: “You’re not a real mom.”

You want them away from your child. You might really like them, you might really appreciate what they can bring to your child’s life. Maybe you really like seeing your ex happy. But still, it’s there, in the back of your mind. It’s your child. We’re wicked, we’re evil, haven’t you heard the stories? We have warts and moles, or if we don’t we’re nasty on the inside and out to split up the child’s relationship with their father, out to take all his money and ruin his life.

Well, I like to think I’m not wicked and I’m not evil. My stepdaughter likes me, as does her mother for that matter (at least I hope so). I’m certainly not out to ruin my husband’s life or take his money. But every day, that’s the stereotype you’re up against. That’s how you’re viewed. You can’t win. Either you’re an interfering person who wants to take over the role of mother, or you’re cold and uncaring, not mothering material.

You’re Not a Real Mom

Being a stepmother is not easy. A friend of mine once said something that hit the nail right on the head: “Having stepchildren is an absence in your life.” You have emotional and financial responsibilities, like any parent. You have the responsibility to teach, to nurture, and help your stepchild grow. There is a member of your family, of your home, who you want to do the best by. But your hands are tied. You can’t raise them how you would your own, even though everyone says “Treat them like they’re your own child.” You can’t. You have to treat them like their mother would want you to. You have to raise them not how you would, but how she would. You have to uphold what their mother would want you to do, to say. You can't be a part of the major decisions that affect their life.

So you do the best you can. You try to do things as their mother would want you to. You hold back your opinions and you stand in the background. You support their parents, back them up, defend them, whether or not you agree. You present a united front at all times and put aside what you think. All the while, there's a small voice, sometimes outside your head, reminding you: “You’re not a real mom.”

You aren't. You can’t be.

The Child

It doesn't matter how good your stepchild is. It doesn't matter how much they want their parent to be happy. It will be hard for them to accept you and equally hard for you to accept them. This is tough because you’re an outsider and you can see things the parents can’t. Or maybe they can, but they don’t want to. And you can’t say anything. Sometimes you can be filled with so much love for your stepchild you want to burst. Like the time my stepdaughter wrote me a little book called “That’s Why I Love You” with drawings of the two of us, and she’d written a whole story for me. Like when she had a nightmare and my husband was still sleeping, so she said that was OK, she was fine with me. She curled up on the couch with me. We ate ice cream and she said she loved me. But sometimes you listen to the things people say about your stepchild, and you want to yell “They’re not perfect!” because you can see their flaws. You don’t see them the way parents do. But you’re the last person in the world anyone wants to hear that from.

They've had to adjust to you, and in doing so, they have done things to you, and said things to you that can be hard for you to forget. They've hurt you and they don’t apologize.

Sometimes they don’t even mean to, like telling your husband that they wish their mom and dad would get back together. It isn't meant to be hurtful, it’s not intended that way, but you can’t help but think they wish you weren't there.

Accepting, forgetting, and forgiving is required for you to adjust to them.

But your biggest fear is that they won’t like you. Won’t love you. Won’t accept you. So you get nervous, and you stuff up. And every criticism anyone has of what you’re doing is magnified a thousand times.

All you can do is the best you can.

What I hope to remind any bio-parent out there is that being a stepparent comes with even less glory and gratitude then being a parent. Stepparents are always second place. It's like being a bridesmaid for the rest of your life. You're happy to be included, love the bride dearly, and couldn't have accepted the duties faster when asked to join the wedding party. But like a bridesmaid, you'll always be on the sideline and never the focus of the picture. You get to walk down the isle in a pretty dress but you'll never wear the gorgeous couture gown. And to be honest, that can knock down a girl's ego from time to time. 

If I could remind bio-families of anything on behalf of Step-moms everywhere, it would be that we likely didn't cause the changes you're experiencing or blaming us for. Change would have happened no matter what; after all, its inevitable. And just like you have the capacity to love more than one child, your child has the capacity to love more than one parent.  It's not a competition, we're not trying to take your little ones heart. We simply want to provide love and affection the best way we know how and if we're doing it right, they're going to love us back. So the next time you find yourself saying something hurtful or not supporting the stepparent in your child's life, please think twice. The faster everyone learns to work together the more love and support the children will feel. And that's what really matters. 

Ironically, all the advice I've ever read on how to be a good stepmother actually says to do the opposite. The best way to be a good stepmother is to put your relationship with your husband first, and ask them to do the same. To ensure your relationship is upheld and kept important no matter what. To present a united front.

Because the most important thing you can do for your stepchild is to provide them with a stable, loving home.

Eventually, when they grow up, you will no longer be a "stepmonster". And maybe, if you’re really lucky, you’ll get to be their friend.

Someday hopefully your stepchildren will say “Thanks for helping raise me. I truly love you.” 

A friend sent this to me a few years ago and I have kept it, so I will close with this :)

Stepmother’s Bill of Rights  

1. Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.
2. I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.
3. People outside the immediate family – including ex-wives, in-laws and adult children – cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.
4. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.
5. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.
6. I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.
7. I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.
8. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
9. I will never be treated as an “outsider” in my own home.
10. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.

Maybe I need to slow down...or not...that is the question..?..

So far this summer has been quite busy to say the least. If you know me, you also know that I love to stay busy. But I also like to indulge in a little "ME" time as well. Lately I've been asked quite a few times how I manage to run a household and take on a crap ton of activities at the same time....truth is I just really enjoy doing what I do. 

All stereotypes put aside (I'm sure I fall into a few), I genuinely enjoy being a Mom and juggling a schedule that people are often envious or in "ah" of. There is nothing more in this world that means so much to me than giving back to this beautiful life that God so graciously has given me.  

My time with my family is EVERYTHING to me. I love planning our weekend adventures and making memories. 

Volunteering is also a very fulfilling rewarding thing for me to do. I helps me feel like I am serving a great portion of my purpose on this earth. 

I mean, lets revert to the title of my blog "I do a lot of things, none of which generate an income". It's not a joke, it's my brand! I am well rounded and involved in many things that may not generate an income, but are an even bigger reward.

I've never been one to sit around and just do nothing. So of course I moved to VA and signed myself up to volunteer, play dates, organizing Girls Night Outs, and whatever else I do lol

But let me be honest....

Little did I forget that my kids are getting older and the activities for them are getting more abundant. So put the two together and you have yourself a making of a pretty busy schedule....and one happy but tired mama trying to keep up with it all. 

I'm sure many of my friends can relate to feeling this way. But honestly, what else would I do? I've asked my self that question a million times. Our Pastor at our old church once said "if what you're doing in life is taking time away from your family and your joy for life. You need to just stop!" That quote has always spoke to me in such a way that I use it as a reminder not to take on too much. Which is why in our family we have "lazy" or "chill" out days where we can just lounge and not worry about a schedule or even getting out of pj's by breakfast time. 

Everyone has a life's calling. Our callings evolve and change over time, and sometimes repeat but in ways we never imagined or may have ignored. I have realized that although I may be a little extra tired, or feeling overwhelmed...I know this, what I am doing is my calling. And with knowing that I have a deep sense of peace and an overwhelming feeling of personal satisfaction. I am just one piece of a larger puzzle and my impact is being felt by more than just me. 

Vacation..Vacation..Vacation!

So for the very first time we took a family vacation. And what better choice of a destination than WALT DISNEY WORLD!

We headed to Texas first to get Caitlyn for the summer and surprised her a whole week early to be at her dance recital. OMG was she excited!

She did AMAZING in her recital and looked absolutely beautiful. We were so glad to have been there. Starting this coming school year we most likely are not going to be able to attend anymore due to the girl's conflicting school schedules. 

After a week of visiting with family and friends in Texas we left on Friday May 31 to head to Florida for our Disney Adventure. We stayed the night at a local hotel to make sure we were well rested for the week of AWESOMENESS we were about to enjoy.

On Day 1 we headed to Gatorland. Man that place was so cool. We have never seen so many Gators in our life. We also saw various types of birds, reptiles, and trees. Our favorite part was when we watched a man wrestle a gator. It was definitely a great way to start our Florida vacation.

 

After our adventure at Gatorland came to an end we headed to check in to our resort. The squeals and laughs of excitement coming from the back seat as we drove through the entrance were well worth the 12 hour drive. 

We checked into Pop Century and were greeted by a familiar face. Matt's cousin Ben is a chef on Disney Property and lives in Orlando. We were so happy to see a familiar face, but better yet, to have an inside scoop on everything Disney.

We got all checked in and headed to our new home for the next 7 days. Wow what an amazing place Pop Century is. Completely decked out in huge monuments of items that represent the last 50 years and Disney characters that are all to familiar to the Disney loving family that we are.

                                    

             

We got settled into our room and Matt and I surprised the kids with gift bags that had t-shirts for everyday we spent at the Disney Parks and autograph books. They loved them!

For our first night at Disney we decided to head to Downtown Disney. We made our way through several shops and watched some young kids dance their little hearts out to entertain the crowd. The kids favorite store was the Lego one, of course. They were in "ah" of all the characters that were made out of Legos. And of course the girls were so excited to get some Minnie Ears.

For dinner we headed to Planet Hollywood. We sat on the 3rd floor. It was so cool and Action/Adventure themed. We enjoyed some music being spun by a DJ. The girls loved the fact that the music videos played during the songs. We were definitely the party table, we had a grand old time dancing and singing to our favorite tunes while enjoying all the cool movie memorabilia and decor. 

Day 2, we got up early and very excited for our day at Magic Kingdom. It was truly a magical day as we embarked on our journey through Fantasy, Tomorrow, Adventure, and Frontier Land. The kids favorite rides were Little Mermaid, Haunted Mansion, and Toy Story. We learned kinda late into the day about fast passes and how they work, but glad we did because they truly saved us lots of time standing in line. 

We enjoyed an awesome buffet lunch at Crystal Palace with Piglet, Pooh, Tigger, and Eeyore. The kids absolutely loved it. They were so excited to see, meet, and get their autographs. 

The rain stayed away all day, but decided to come while we were sitting and waiting for the Main Street Electrical Parade and fireworks. Thus, causing them both to get cancelled. So we proceeded to head back to the hotel. On our way out, we saw an awesome flotilla.

We didn't let the rain get us down though, we headed back to the resort and went to the Hippy Dippy Pool and enjoyed some splash time.

On Day 3 we all woke up super pumped for our day at Epcot. We started our day there with a ride inside the Epcot Ball on Spaceship Earth. It was so cool. 

We then ventured into World Showcase and checked out all the different countries. 

We had lunch at a little cantina in "Mexico" where little birds tried to steal our churros lol 

As we walked on over to catch a ride over California on the ride Soarin'. The kids were so excited to see a Monsters University themed bush. To make it fun, we told the kids Edward Scissorands cut it out ;)

For dinner we headed to Norway for dinner at Askerhus Royal Banquet Hall where we got to meet Belle, Cinderella, Aurora, Snow White, and Ariel. The girls were in total "ah" over seeing and chatting with the Princesses. The food was amazing and dessert was oh so yummy!

We topped off our night at Epcot with the amazing Illuminations water show!

On Day 4 we headed over to Animal Kingdom. We started our day with Brunch at the Rainforest Cafe. The food was great and our Volcano dessert was to die for!

We then headed over to the Lion King show. On our way we stopped by the tree of life. 

The Lion King show is a must see. It was soooo amazing. We all enjoyed it. The characters, the floats, the monkeys, the men on stilts...everything about it was awesome!

After the show we took a train ride to Rafikis Planet. We entered the conservation station and the kids got to hear rainforest sounds and see various reptiles. We also got to visit a petting zoo and see a beautiful owl.

We then headed on a walking adventure through a forest. We saw a Gorilla, various birds, bats, a meerkat and a Tiger.

Our favorite part of the day was the Kilimanjaro Safari ride. It was so cool to take a ride through an African Safari. 

After our Safari, we headed over to DinoLand USA. This was definitely B-Cam's favorite. We went on the Dinosaur ride, had some fun in Dino Rama, and enjoyed dinner at Restaurantosaurus.

Day 5 we headed to Hollywood Studios. 

We started out with The Voyage of the Littlle Mermaid Show. The wait was about 20 mins so I went and got us fast passes to the Toy Story Mania ride (glad I did, that ride had a 2 1/2 hour wait). Little Mermaid is a must see if you love that movie as much as I do. We then headed over to the Great Movie Ride. Matt and I love movies and that ride was pretty awesome taking you back through years of movie making awesomeness.

We headed over to lunch at Hollywood & Vine for a Disney Jr. play date. We enjoyed a great buffet while visiting with June, Jake, Oso, and Handy Manny. The kids loved getting up and participating in song and dance led by the coolest guy ever.

After lunch we headed over to get our fast passes to Star Tours and saw Darth Vader! He and the storm troopers were training new jedis.

While we waited for our fast pass time to come up we headed over to Muppets 3D and the kids got to meet Lightning McQueen. Brycen was all about it, but chickened out of taking a pic (lil stinker).

Our time finally came for Star Tours. Turns out they revamped it, and it is 3D now. It was so awesome!

Next up on our agenda we hit the Indiana Jones Stunt show. 

It was pretty awesome, from what we actually saw of it. In the middle of it they had to stop the show due to a torrential downpour of rain. They said we (the audience) could wait in the covered theater and the show would commence. But, no such luck. The show was cancelled and we headed back to the resort in hopes that the rain would pass. When we got to the resort we did what anyone would do on a rainy vaca day...we ordered pizza and sushi! And it was delicious :)

The rain did pass, so we headed back to Hollywood Studios to use those fast passes we had (can't let them go to waste lol). 

Caitlyn and I went on Hollywood Tower of Terror. Oh my gosh I screamed so loud! It was really fun and an adrenaline rush.

And our next stop was Toy Story Mania and it was well worth the wait. It was so much fun!

We closed the night with the Fantasmic show. OMG it was sooooo awesome. The technology and what they can do with water is just absolutely amazing!

Day 6 the storm decided it didn't want to let up. Thank goodness our days at the parks went off without a hitch. On this day we decided to just chill out and take a day to explore. We started the day out with breakfast at the restaurant Ohana at the Polynesian Resort. It is so pretty there, definitely plan on staying there one day. We got to meet Lilo, Stitch, Mickey, and Pluto. The breakfast was delicious and the Mickey waffles are yummylicious! 

There was something so special about this day too...when we first got to Disney, Alanna had wrote Mickey a note. She had looked all over and hadn't seen him at any of the parks. We knew he was gonna be at breakfast, so we just kept telling her she'd get to see him soon. Well on this morning she finally got to see and give Mickey her note. It was seriously the cutest thing ever! 

After breakfast we drove around for a bit and checked out ESPN World of Sports. We didn't get to do too much exploring like we had hoped thanks to the storm. So we headed back to the resort and let the kids have some fun in the arcade.

To top off this rainy Thursday, we decided to grab some drinks from the bar and head to the pool :)

For our last day in Florida we decided to take advantage of  Anheuser Busch's Salute to the Heroes and go to Sea World. Both the younger kids have been to the one in California but Caitlyn had never been and was really excited. But first we had reservations at Chef Mickeys where the kids got to meet Chef Donald, Chef Pluto, Chef Goofy, Minnie, and Chef Mickey. That by far was the best breakfast we have ever had!

After breakfast we were off to Sea World. It was a beautiful day! Perfect to see and spend the day with sea animals. 

There is no greater joy as a parent than being able to fill your children with so much joy and laughter. To see their faces light up when things they've only seen on T.V. all of sudden are real. We have been incredibly blessed and feel very fortunate to have been able to give our kids these wonderful memories they will remember for years to come.